Madame President
by pehpig
Summary: Nemu and Yachiru seem to get along pretty well.  I wondered how that came about.  This is a short story about Nemu and Yachiru running around and getting into mischief.  There is some violence and language, so I'm rating it T.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Yachiru and Nemu seem to have a good friendship. How did it start?

Captain-Commander Yamamoto struck the floor with his walking stick.

"This concludes today's meeting. I would like to once again congratulate our newest Captain, Kurotsuchi Mayuri. I am sure we can expect great things from the twelfth division under his leadership."

He struck the floor again, two strong raps. "Meeting adjourned."

With that, he arose with the dignity afforded him by his years and slowly made his way to his private exit. The captains dispersed and headed to the main exit where their lieutenants waited for them in the courtyard. Captain Ukitake Jushiro came up behind the newest addition to the captain ranks and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Congratulations on your promotion!" He said. "Are you excited you made it?"

Mayuri turned to face him, looked at the hand on his shoulder in disgust and gingerly removed it.

"Hardly." He said. "This is all a farce as far as I'm concerned. If I didn't need support and funding for my research, I wouldn't have bothered to apply for the position."

Ukitake was taken aback. "You mean to say you didn't want to be a Captain?"

"I don't care about rank or position." Mayuri said. "I care about my work. If someone else is made captain, who knows what direction they'll take with our mission. I will not allow anything to interfere with my research. If that means sacrificing time for this political rigmarole, so be it."

Ukitake always tried to be positive about everything and see the good in everyone. He had a hard time understanding the captain's attitude. How could he not take pride in his achievement?

"Well, at least it must be satisfying to see all your hard work pay off." He said. "Achieving bankai is no small accomplishment."

Mayuri sniffed. "For others perhaps. Most people simply don't know how to concentrate. It was child's play after I took the time to study the matter. Now if you will excuse me."

Kyoraku Shunsui approached as Mayuri left. "Not exactly the humble sort is he?"

Ukitake turned to his friend. "I was just trying to make him feel welcome."

Shunsui tipped his hat back. "Nothing wrong in trying. Don't get too worked up over his attitude though. You can't make people stop being who they are. Say, I found a new restaurant that serves excellent sake. You want to go there for dinner?"

Ukitake was quick to cheer up. "Sounds good." He said with a quick smile.

* * *

Captain Zaraki Kenpachi's stalker spotted him as soon as he walked into the courtyard. He didn't notice the dark form behind him, slipping from pillar to pillar, taking advantage of every shadow and scrap of cover to get closer and closer undetected. At last, with Kenpachi only an arm's length away, his pursuer struck with a fearsome war cry!

"Yaaahhhhh!"

Kenpachi stumbled a bit and had to adjust his stride to accommodate the 30 pounds or so of pink fluff that had attached itself to his right leg.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha! Did I get you Kenny?" Yachiru asked.

"Yeah, you got me pretty good." He replied. He leaned over to pick her up and put her at her usual spot on his shoulder.

"How did the meeting go?" She asked.

"Same boring crap as always." He said. "Hollow sightings. Duty rosters. Complaints about the guys starting fights."

Yachiru looked at the captains coming out the door.

"Did somebody have a birthday party?"

Kenpachi stopped walking and looked at her.

"Birthday party? What makes you ask that?"

She pointed behind her. "You had a clown in there."

He turned around.

"That's not a clown you weirdo, that's the new guy. Took over the twelfth."

While captains could modify their uniform if they chose, Yachiru had never seen one paint their face like that before.

"Why's he look all funny then?" she asked.

Kenpachi scratched his head.

"Beats me. I guess it has something to do with being the science guy."

Yachiru watched as a young woman approached the new captain to speak to him and hand him a clipboard. She had a long braid down her back and her uniform was different from the usual shinigami robes with a short skirt. She thought the woman looked sad.

"Is that his Lieutenant?" she asked. "She's pretty."

Kenpachi shrugged. "I guess so."

Yachiru stood up on his shoulder.

"I'm gonna go over and say hi."

With a forward flip, she jumped down to the ground. Kenpachi watched her as she walked across the yard.

She padded over to the woman and tugged on her skirt. Nemu felt the tugging and turned around to look into the beaming face of the smiling little girl.

"Hiya lady!" she said. "What's your name? Hey, we're having women's meeting later on this week. You wanna come? We're having lotsa snacks. I'm the president!"

Nemu looked at her blankly. Puzzled, she turned to look at her captain. Mayuri was irritated.

"Get back to the lab Nemu, we'll finish up later." He ordered.

Without saying a word, Nemu gave a polite bow and walked away. Yachiru put her hands on her hips.

"Hey, wait a minute!" She shouted at Nemu's retreating back. "Where you going? Ain't ya gonna come to the meeting?"

Mayuri stepped closer to Yachiru and leaned over to look her in the eye.

"Little girl, this is a place for grown-ups to work. Scamper on home. We don't have any time for your silly little tea parties."

Yachiru frowned and stamped her foot.

"It's not a tea party. It's a very important meeting. I'm the president. You can't talk to me that way clown-man!"

Mayuri stood up with his eyes wide.

"Clown-man? How dare you insult me you little brat!"

Suddenly, he felt the pressure of an enormous reiatsu pressing down on him.

"There a problem here?" Kenpachi said.

"Is this your child?" Mayuri asked. "Why are you allowing her to run around unsupervised? She's a nuisance!"

Kenpachi frowned. "Yachiru can go wherever she wants. She's my lieutenant and you will treat her with the respect she deserves."

Mayuri couldn't believe his ears.

"This little snot is _YOUR LIEUTENANT_? I didn't think you were smart, but I hardly thought you were crazy."

The air around Kenpachi began to shimmer.

"I don't like you little man." He put his hand on the hilt of his zampakuto. "Maybe you need to learn a little courtesy."

Mayuri's form also began to shine with released reiatsu as he drew himself to his full height.

"You think you can teach me? I can make you suffer in ways your tiny barbarian mind couldn't even comprehend."

The two antagonists stared at each other, slowly altering their stances. The very ground beneath their feet began to shake as they gathered their energies to strike. Yachiru sank into a crouch, ready to spring out of the way. Suddenly, both captains were struggling under the pressure from a still more powerful third party.

"My, my!" Captain Unohana said. "Everyone seems so tense today. Captain Kurotsuchi, are you feeling well? Your recent promotion must be stressful and I expect it put you in a bad mood."

Mayuri broke eye contact with Kenpachi. Glancing around he saw everyone in the courtyard was staring. He turned away.

"Humph. I don't have time for this. I have more important things to attend to back in the lab."

He stomped off towards his division compound.

Unohana turned to Kenpachi. "I'm sure our latest captain didn't mean to be so rude Captain Zaraki. Let's give him a chance to fit in. It took a while for you to get used to things here, remember?"

Kenpachi took his hand off his sword and allowed himself to relax. "I remember."

He remembered when he took over as captain of the eleventh division. How stiff and polite everyone had been. Letting him know they tolerated him only because they had to. Letting him know he didn't belong. Only Unohana had been genuinely nice to him.

"I still don't like that guy."

She put a comforting hand on his arm.

"I appreciate your patience. Perhaps in time your opinion will change."

With a soft smile on her face, she radiated peace and comfort. Not even Kenpachi could stay angry around her. She turned aside and bent her knees to be eye level with Yachiru.

"Now that the meeting is over, I'm going to be serving tea. Would you like to come along Yachiru?"

The little girl bounced "Will there be snacks?"

"Of course." Unohana said. "I made some cookies fresh this morning."

Yachiru took her hand "Sure thing braid-lady!"

Unohana looked up at Kenpachi. "Will you be joining us as well Captain Zaraki?"

He looked down and scratched his head. "Uh, no. That's OK."

"C'mon Kenny." Yachiru said. "It'll be fun."

Kenpachi hated to say no to her. He always liked to indulge Yachiru's whims. On the other hand, he'd be a bull in a china shop in Unohana's upscale division headquarters. He didn't want to embarrass her or himself with his uncouth manners.

"No. I, uh, got stuff to do. Back at the office."

Unohana smiled at him. "Well if you change your mind, feel free to stop by."

"Yeah," He said. "I'll do that."

Unohana started towards the fourth division compound leading Yachiru by the hand. As they walked off, Yachiru looked back towards the direction Mayuri had left.

"This is not over Mr. Clown."

* * *

Mayuri sat behind his desk and stared at Lieutenant Ise Nanao in disbelief.

"What do you mean you're cutting off my funding?"

The lieutenant adjusted her glasses and looked down at the papers in her hand.

"As you know, or should know, the Shinigami Women's Association controls and distributes all funding for the Gotei 13. We have decided to terminate all existing revenue streams for your division and will refuse any future requests."

Mayuri began to sputter.

"Wha.. why.. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I submit all the required forms, followed the correct procedures for bids, meet all the regulations on tracking and account for every cent. By what right do you refuse me my operating expenses?"

If the captain's anger fazed the lieutenant in the slightest it wasn't evident.

"If you look at the sub-paragraph on the regulation regarding final disbursement, you will see the caveat that all funding is ultimately approved and distributed upon the authority of the president."

"That's me clown face!" said a voice from below.

Mayuri stood up to see where it came from. The front of his desk had concealed Yachiru who was standing besides Nanao with an evil grin.

"You!" He shouted in astonishment "What are you doing here? How did you get in here?"

Nanao answered for her. "President Kusajishi Yachiru is highly skilled at infiltration. She's been here for several minutes."

Mayuri looked at Nanao as if she were insane. "SHE'S the PRESIDENT? How did that happen?"

"That is a long story that is not relevant to this discussion." Nanao replied. "The important thing is she has ordered an audit of your organizations practices and we have found several discrepancies you must correct before we will approve of any more funding requests."

"Discrepancies!" He said. "What discrepancies?"

"That you're a big meanie who's a jerk!" Yachiru said.

Nanao coughed. "What the president is trying to say is the charter of the Gotei 13 explicitly states that all female shinigami will be allowed to join the Shinigami Women's Association. To date, no one in your division has joined."

Nanao handed him a copy of the charter with the relevant chapter highlighted and tabbed. Mayuri set it aside without a glance.

"Perhaps none of my female members are interested in joining your ridiculous club." He said.

"Lies!" Yachiru yelled.

Nanao covered Yachiru's mouth. "An informal survey indicated several interested parties. When asked why they did not join, they cited excessive workload and a climate of intimidation. The Shinigami Women's Association was set up to prevent exactly this kind of exploitation. As long as these conditions exist, we cannot allow your funding to be approved."

Mayuri ground his teeth. If looks could kill, Nanao and Yachiru would be smoldering piles of ash. He didn't need to check the paperwork they gave him to know they had him over a barrel.

"All right!" He exploded, "I'll let my females join your stupid organization."

"It's not stupid, you are!" Yachiru shot back.

Nanao quickly interrupted. "Ahem, allowing your people to join is not enough. You must also address the concerns over excessive overtime, unsafe working conditions, child care…"

"Childcare!" Mayuri exclaimed.

Nanao did not appreciate being interrupted.

"Yes, childcare as well as maternity leave."

Mayuri sat down and put elbows on his desk followed by putting his head in his hands. "Fine, fine, leave me the details and get out."

"One last thing," Nanao said. "You must appoint a permanent council representative for your division. She must be third seat or higher."

Mayuri raised his head, angry at yet another imposition.

"I don't have any females third seat or higher!"

"Yeah you do." Yachiru said. "You can appoint her!"

She pointed to the corner behind his desk. Mayuri turned around to look at Nemu who had been quietly standing behind him, hands folded and eyes downcast the entire time.

"I will not appoint Nemu." He said.

"Why not?" Yachiru asked.

Nanao said "As a Lieutenant, she more than meets the qualifications. You either appoint her, or find a new source of revenue."

Mayuri was torn. On the one hand, he didn't want Nemu out of his sight more than was necessary. There were too many questions that could come up, too many random factors that would be entered into her development. But he needed funding and support to do his work. He felt like pulling his hair out by the roots. He had to make a decision!

"All right, she can go! Are we finished here?"

"Almost." Nanao said.

Yachiru stepped over to Nemu and handed her a piece of paper.

"Tomorrow's my day off, so I'm gonna do a lot of president stuff" She said. "I pick you to be my assistant for the day. Be at the eleventh division HQ at 0900. OK?"

Nemu took the slip with the appointed day and time on it. "Understood Madam President."


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Nemu and Yachiru spend the day fulfilling important presidential duties.

Nemu stood before the gate of the eleventh division's compound. The wind ruffled her hair and caught her braid from time to time. Birds sang in the distance and flowers nodded under the bright morning sunshine. It was 0900 exactly. She was considering whether she should knock when a high voice called out.

"Atten-hut!"

Nemu instantly became the platonic ideal of the position of attention. The gate opened up to reveal Yachiru, who marched out with her zampakuto tucked beneath her arm like a swagger stick. Stopping before Nemu, she leaned back to peer up at her face.

"So, you think you're good enough to join the Shinigami Women's Association, eh?"

Nemu looked down. "I was directed by Mayuri-sama to…"

"No, no, no." Yachiru interrupted waving her hands. "You're not supposed to talk yet. OK."

She tucked her zampakuto back under her arm and started over. "So, you think you're good enough to join the Shinigami Women's Association, eh?"

She began to walk in a circle around Nemu.

"Well it's not all fun and games new meat! Its hardship, and suffering, and impossible tasks. That's IF you have what it takes to get in. Do you know what that is?"

Nemu stared straight ahead.

Yachiru whispered loudly, "Say yes now."

Cautiously, Nemu answered as directed. "Yes?"

"Do you now?" Yachiru said as she stood on her toes in front of Nemu. "And just what…oh…wait a minute."

She trotted back inside the gate, soon returning with a stepladder. Placing it in front of Nemu, she climbed up until she was eye level with her fellow lieutenant.

"That's better." She said.

She leaned forward until she was nose to nose with Nemu. Squinting her eyes in a close approximation of toughness, she restated her question

"And just what DOES it take to join the S.W.A new meat! Huh?"

Nemu held the position of attention and tried to figure out how to respond.

"Go on." Yachiru stage whispered, "answer."

Inside Nemu shrugged. "You must be a member of the Gotei 13, a female and able to pay your 20 kan dues every month."

"Correct!" Yachiru yipped. She jumped off the stepladder with a backflip.

"Welcome new member Nemu-chan!"

Carrying the stepladder, Yachiru led Nemu into the eleventh division compound.

"We got lotsa stuff to do today. Since this is my day off from lieutenant duties, I got a long list of presidenty things that have to get done."

She propped the stepladder up against the wall next to a small wagon. She then took a folded piece of paper from the wagon and handed it to Nemu.

"First thing we gotta do is shopping. As president, it's my job to make sure the dues get spent on important things."

Nemu looked at the list. "This list has nothing on it but candy and toys."

"Yup," Yachiru said, "only important stuff. You wouldn't believe what Nanao-chan wanted. Office supplies. Huh!"

She gave the handle of the wagon to Nemu.

"Your job will be to carry all the stuff and keep an eye on the money."

She picked up a locked box next to the wagon labeled "S.W.A Dues" and dropped it into the wagon. It was heavy with coins and rocked the wagon from side to side. Yachiru hopped in the wagon and sat on the box.

"Off we go!"

Again, Nemu gave an internal shrug and headed towards the market pulling the squeaky, rattling old wagon.

* * *

All the merchants in the marketplace were happy to see Yachiru. They all bowed low and made haste to show her their latest wares. She sampled many flavors and types of candies, oohed and aahed over the newest toys and bought lots of everything. Nemu dutifully paid for all the merchandise from the lock box and put the bags and packages on the wagon as they went from shop to shop. The little cart quickly filled up and Nemu soon had a hard time finding a place for everything. She just managed to find a spot for the last bag.

"Madam President," she said, "I am afraid we have run out of space."

Yachiru looked at the overloaded wagon. "I guess you right. How much money do we have left?"

Nemu held out the now mostly empty box to show the pitifully few coins left on the bottom.

"That's enough for lunch." Yachiru said. "I know just the place!"

* * *

Nemu gracefully wielded her chopsticks eating a small fish with plain rice and a dish of pickled vegetables on the side. Yachiru looked at her from across the table over a huge pile of cakes and sweets.

"Is that all you're gonna eat?" she asked with crumbs dropping from her mouth.

"This is all I am normally allowed to eat." Nemu replied.

"Allowed?" Yachiru said. "What do you mean allowed? You're a grown up."

Nemu put down her chopsticks. "Mayuri-sama feels this is all the nutrition I require. He does not allow me anything else."

"Well so what?" Yachiru said. "He's your captain not your dad or something."

"Actually," Nemu replied, "Mayuri-sama is my father."

Yachiru's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

"That guy is your father? Somebody married him?"

She realized she had gone too far right away.

"Oops, I'm sorry. I'm sure your mama's really nice."

Nemu wasn't sure how to respond to that. She hadn't been born in the normal way. Created by Mayuri-sama using gigai and gikon technology, she wasn't even sure if she qualified as a person. She didn't feel like going into it with the child.

"I have no mother." She said. "There is only Mayuri-sama."

"That's just like me." Yachiru said. "Ken-chan's all I got in the world."

Nemu knew of Captain Zaraki Kenpachi. How he gained his command by killing the former captain of the eleventh division. How he led a force of thugs and roughnecks into the toughest conflicts, leading from the front, reveling in carnage. How could such a man have raised this happy little girl?

"Isn't it hard," she asked, "living with someone who fights all the time?"

"Ken-chan's pretty tough all right. Nobody can beat him!" Yachiru bragged "But that's not all there is. When I was small, you know, not grown up like I am now."

She straightened up to her full height.

"I used to get scared a lot. I'd be afraid of the dark, or loud noises and stuff. Kenny was always there for me. He'd hold me until I wasn't scared no more. Even if he had to stay up all night. And he'd sing me songs and rock me back and forth until I felt better. He never let me go hungry or be cold, even if he had nothing. He even taught me my letters and numbers. He's great!"

Nemu stared in wonder at the child. Her experience with her father had been nothing like that. There had been no holding or songs when she was afraid. If she tried to avoid an experiment or cried out in pain, she was beaten and mocked for her weakness. She was told over and over how worthless she was and how much she failed to live up to Mayuri-sama's greatness. Was that how things were supposed to be? Which was the normal situation? Hers or the girl sitting across from her? She had to know more.

"Doesn't he ever get angry with you? Punish you?" She asked.

"Oh yeah." Yachiru replied. "Sometimes he'll get real mad at me. He'll look down at me and say, 'Yachiru, I'm real disappointed in you' and then he'll make me sit in the corner, or go to bed. One time, he wouldn't let me have candy for a whole week!"

Nemu wasn't sure what to think.

"That is your punishment?" she asked.

"Yeah." Yachiru replied. "But to tell you the truth, I really don't mind. I just feel bad Ken-chan's mad at me. That's the worst."

Yachiru went back to eating her cake so Nemu returned to eating her fish. She had a lot to think about. She also felt bad when she disappointed Mayuri-sama. She seemed to do it all the time. It didn't seem to be that way for Yachiru. Was it because she was a little girl? Was there some secret to being a daughter she didn't know? Something didn't seem to be right. She noticed that she had stopped eating her food and was just pushing it around on the plate.

"Here, Nemu-chan," Yachiru said, "try this."

She pushed a dish of ice cream towards Nemu.

"You look too sad. Ice cream makes everybody happy!"

Nemu looked at the ice cream. That didn't sound logical. With Yachiru watching her, she picked up the spoon and took a bite. The ice cream was cool and sweet on her tongue, melting to fill her whole mouth with its flavor.

"It's good." She said.

She wasn't sure if the ice cream made her any happier. Yachiru's beaming grin did make her feel better.

* * *

Yachiru poked her head inside the gate of the eleventh division compound and looked carefully left and right.

"OK, Nemu-chan." she whispered. "Here is the dangerous part. We have to get this cart across the courtyard to my door on the other side without anyone seeing or hearing us."

Nemu replied in a normal tone. "I believe the wheels will continue to squeak with all the weight..."

"SSSHHHHH!" hissed Yachiru. "Whisper! We can't afford to get caught!"

"Yes Madam President." Nemu whispered back.

Standing on tiptoe, they began to make their way across the courtyard. Step by step, inch by inch they crossed the open space towards Yachiru's quarters without making a sound except for the squeaking and squealing of the overloaded wagon wheels.

"Almost there." Yachiru whispered. "Almost there!"

"Hey Yumichika! Check this out!" A man's voice shouted.

Yachiru let loose with a terrible oath.

"OH CRUD!"

Turning around, she saw the two people she had wanted to avoid most. The bald shinigami was pointing to the wagon.

"Looks like you've got your hands full today." Ikkaku crowed.

"Oh no, not again!" said the flamboyantly dressed fifth seat.

Yachiru tried to shield her treasures with her body.

"Back off feather-head! This is mine!"

Yumichika put his hands on his hips.

"Lieutenant Kusajishi Yachiru, you know very well you are not allowed to have that much candy. And do I see toys in there too? You know you don't have room left in your toy box."

Yachiru stuck out her chin and crossed her arms. "I bought it. Its mine!"

Yumichika raised his head to look down his nose.

"Do you think the captain will think so too?"

Yachiru knew her bluff had been called. "Aw come on, don't tell Ken-chan."

"It has to go back." He said.

"All of it?" she asked, her eyes open wide with just a hint of tears.

Yumichika thought about it for a second.

"Well." He allwoed. "One bag."

In a flash, Yachiru snatched a bag of candy from the cart.

"A SMALL bag." He clarified.

"You should have said that in the first place." She mumbled under her breath as she reluctantly selected a small bag from the pile.

"You'll thank me later when you start worrying about your complexion" he said.

Yumichika turned to Nemu. "I must apologize for her inelegant behavior. Really, I don't know how she manages to bully people into doing this every month. Did you keep the receipts?"

"Yes." Nemu said "They are in here."

She handed him the lock box now filled with nothing but paper.

"Good." He said. "It will be difficult enough dealing with that horrid glasses woman, I'd hate to show up empty handed."

Taking the box, he gave her a suspicious look.

"You didn't let her eat a lot of sweets for lunch did you?"

Behind Yumichika, Nemu could see Yachiru frantically waving her hands and mouthing "NO!".

"I…let her eat what I felt was appropriate." She said.

"Excellent." He replied. "I'll have a hard enough time getting her to bed as it is."

He found a place for the lock box on the wagon and took the handle.

"Ikkaku, tell the captain I won't be at practice today. I'm sure he'll know why."

His companion, who had been grinning the whole time, proceeded towards the training grounds.

"You'll make someone a fine wife someday Yumichika." He called out over his shoulder.

"Oh do shut up." His friend called back as he headed back to the market.

Yachiru and Nemu were alone in the courtyard again. Yachiru looked down at the one bag of candy she had managed to salvage.

"Aw man." She said. "All that shopping for nothing. Well, time to put this away."

She headed towards her door.

"You stand guard Nemu-chan. Keep everybody away. No one may know my super secret hiding place."

She clutched the bag to her chest and shifted her eyes back and forth.

"No one!"

In a blink, she popped through the door leaving Nemu to stand guard. The midday sun was bright and hot, but she made no move to find shade. She would stay in front of the door and protect it to the best of her ability. After a while, a group of eleventh division members entered the courtyard. In an outfit noted for rough, dangerous men, they looked especially fierce with every one of them covered with multiple scars and tattoos. They carried bokken and were obviously headed to practice. Their leader spotted Nemu and stopped the group.

"Hey guys, look what we've got here."

One of his companions tugged at his sleeve. "Yeah, so what? We have to get to practice."

"You go on ahead," the lead thug said, "I'm thinking I've got better things to do today." With a cocky swagger, he headed toward Nemu, a menacing leer on his face. His gang, sensing a good time, followed closely behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary:** Now that the shopping is done, it's time to move on to the important mission.

"Hey there dollface. Haven't seen you around here before."

The leader of the group of thugs handed his bokken to a companion as he approached Nemu. The gang spread out in a wide, loose half circle, cutting off any lines of retreat, effectively trapping Nemu against the wall. If this disturbed her in any way, she gave no sign. She looked at them coldly.

"I am Lieutenant Kurotsuchi Nemu of the twelfth division and you are being derelict in your duties. Go about your business." She ordered.

This brought a round of hoots and catcalls from the men surrounding her.

"Hoo, look out man! She's a lieutenant!"

"Derelict in your duties, ha, ha!"

Their leader didn't even slow down as he came closer. "Twelfth division, eh? I guess you came here looking for a real man!"

He looked around at his crew for approval and was rewarded with crude laughs.

"So whaddaya say baby? How's about you and me head on back to the barracks? We could have a little fun together."

Nemu's face was like stone. Her voice carried clearly and coldly.

"I am performing an important mission that cannot be interrupted for the likes of you. I advise you to return to your duties."

This didn't please the leader at all.

"The like of us, huh? So you think you're better than us? Better than me?" He shoved Nemu roughly against the wall. "Maybe I'm gonna 'interupt' your mission for you."

He loomed over her, trying to intimidate her with his superior height and mass. He wanted her to feel scared and out of control, wanted to see fear in her eyes. He leaned over her with one hand on the wall behind her, looking for the inevitable cracks as she caved in to his bullying. What did happen was unexpected. Her expression changed, but it was not fear. It seemed to be…interest? Looking up into his face, Nemu tilted her head to one side. She slowly, gently reached out her hand and began to run a finger up and down his chest. So she was one of those, eh? Got off on being dominated. Unexpected.

"That's more like it baby." He said.

Nemu raised one eyebrow and stepped closer. She put both hands on his chest and began to slowly slide them up towards his neck.

He turned his head to call out to his companions.

"I think she likes me boys!"

More crude laughs.

He turned back to his new conquest. "So like I was saying..ARGHHHH!

Grasping him by the lapels of his uniform on either side of his neck, Nemu pulled him down while smashing her forehead into his face. He staggered backwards, blood streaming down his face as he clutched his shattered nose.

"AAHHH! YOU STINKIN BI…."

She watched as he moved backwards, waiting until he was the perfect distance, then launched a forward snap kick. Her foot connected with his groin with an audible 'THWACK!' that echoed off the courtyard walls. He actually levitated six inches off the ground for a split second. His companions winced in sympathy pain. Hitting the ground again, his mouth opened and closed as he tried to remember how to breathe. He fell over on his side where he curled up into a quivering, whimpering ball.

Nemu looked around at the remaining pack of thugs.

"As a lieutenant of the Gotei 13, I order you to return to your duties, or else. This is your final warning."

The men surrounding her still would not obey.

"Bitch!"

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Screw your rank, nobody does that one of us!"

Whatever else they may be, they were all seasoned fighters. They would not allow this insult to go unanswered. Acting as a team, they raised their bokken and charged at the woman standing calmly before them.

* * *

Bored, Kenpachi thought to himself. I'm so bored.

He was on his way to supervise training. Just like he did last week. And the week before that. Pretty much every week really. When did he start getting in such a rut? When was the last time he was really challenged? There hadn't been any tough missions in ages. It didn't help the men either. True, he kept them busy with training and maintenance, but that's all it was. Busy work. It chafed at everyone that they didn't really have anything to do these days.

Entering the courtyard, he immediately noticed the bodies. They were scattered all over. Men with broken arms and legs. Blood and teeth all over the ground. Bokken cracked in half. Moans and retching.

Funny, he thought, it's not Friday.

He spotted a young woman standing before the door of his quarters. She gave a low bow.

"Good day to you Captain Zaraki." She said.

Kenpachi gave a nod. "I know you. You're that new lieutenant. You're watching Yachiru today?"

Nemu nodded. "Yes sir."

"She being good?" He asked.

"Oh yes." Nemu replied. "Her behavior has been exemplary."

Kenpachi looked at her skeptically. As much as he cared about his little pink shoulder ornament, even he had to admit she could try your patience sometimes. The woman before him appeared sincere.

"Well," he said, "make sure you have her back by six."

He headed towards the gate that led to the training grounds. One body in his path was casually punted aside to slam high up on the wall. The man fell bonelessly to the ground and groaned weakly.

Maybe we're training too much, he thought. It was almost as bad to train too much as too little. It made you burn out. Maybe we should take advantage of the down time to let the boys go on leave in rotating shifts. Go see their folks. Recharge their batteries. He'd talk it over with the top ten seats at the next meeting. Bored. So bored.

* * *

Yachiru emerged from her quarters with a satisfied grin.

"Nobody's finding it this time!'" she announced. "Unless of course we get ants again." Suddenly, she noticed the bleeding, broken men strewn around the yard.

"What happened?" She looked over at Nemu who didn't have a scratch on her. "Did those guys attack you?"

Nemu nodded "Yes Madam President, they did."

Eyes wide, Yachiru looked all around at the injured shinigami.

"How long did all this take?" she asked.

Nemu replayed the attack in her head and calculated the time.

"Approximately 48.3 seconds Madam President."

Yachiru's eyes narrowed in rage. "You miserable punks!"

Suddenly she was moving so fast, she seemed to be everywhere at once, stomping ribs, slapping faces, kicking people all over.

"Get up! Get up!" she cried. "Shame! Disgrace! How dare you embarrass me like this?"

Stooping over the leader, she grabbed him by the hair and lifted the big man up until he was eye level.

"You and your men will report to me tomorrow for 'special training'. You hear me? Don't think I'm gonna forget either! I remember all your faces!"

She dropped him back on the ground with a thud.

"Now get out of here! You couldn't even keep our guest entertained for a full minute? Shameful!"

The men staggered out of the courtyard as best they could. Those that could not walk were dragged or carried by those that could.

Yachiru shouted at their retreating backs. "Weaklings! Scrubs!"

As the last man left, Yachiru turned to Nemu and gave a deep bow. She said with unaccustomed formality, "My gravest apologies Nemu-san. I am ashamed that you had to sully your hands on such weak opponents. I promise you, the next time you visit, I will arrange for much stronger, more challenging sparring partners."

Nemu returned her bow with equal formality. "Apology accepted Madam President."

Yachiru brightened up immediately. "Now that that's out of the way, it's time for the important stuff. Follow me!"

* * *

The wind blew gently across the tree covered hill, rustling the leaves. Songbirds called out as they moved from branch to branch. High up in an oak, a branch was bent out of the way, and a little pink head poked out.

"There it is." Yachiru said. "Our objective."

Nemu looked over her shoulder to see what the little girl was talking about.

"That appears to be the Kuchiki Ancestral Manor." She said.

"Correct." Yachiru replied. "For too long, Captain Kuchiki Byakuya has denied us entrance. For too long we have been denied that which is rightfully ours. It is very important that we get in there. For the good of the Shinigami Women's Association, for the good of women everywhere, we must get in."

Nemu was surprised to hear this. Captain Kuchiki had wronged the Shinigami Women's Association? That didn't seem to match with his reputation.

"What is Captain Kuchiki keeping from us Madam President?" she asked.

Yachiru gravely replied, "Knowledge, Nemu-chan. Knowledge."

The wind rustled the leaves. A bird flew past.

"Knowledge of what?" Nemu asked.

"Of what it looks like in there!" Yachiru replied. "He never lets me in!"

She stamped her foot which caused the branch they were standing on to shake violently. Nemu and Yachiru both had to grab a handhold to keep from falling off.

"Whoa." Yachiru said. "Didn't mean to do that. Where was I? Oh yeah. He never lets me in there! Everybody else lets me in to their place. I bet he has all kindsa cool stuff and he just doesn't wanna share."

"I don't believe Captain Kuchiki would have anything you would want Madam President." Nemu said.

"Oh no?" Yachiru replied. "Then why do all the guards tell me to go away and play somewhere else? Why are all his doors and windows locked? Why does he have bars over the intakes of all the ventilation ducts and water pipes? He's hiding something I tell you!"

Nemu found this line of reasoning a little strange. "Have you tried asking to come in?"

Yachiru frowned. "All that gets me is a bag of candy and a 'come back later'."

She rubbed her chin. "OK, I do like the candy part, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't get in there. We have to find out what's going on in there!"

The tree on the hill gave an excellent vantage point over the compound. Nemu could see the gates clearly. They were all well guarded. There was only one approach due to the moat. The walls were not too high for a lieutenant to jump, but security patrols were on the roof as well. She trusted Yachiru had already explored all the ducts, drains and other unobvious entrances. Going over the possibilities, she noted that the moat was dry

"Madam President," she said, "I think I see a way in."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary:** The Kuchiki mansion is successfully infiltrated.

The room had known nothing but silence for a long time. Servants regularly dusted and polished the objects in the room and maintained good order. It could be called the Kuchiki family museum, but a more accurate description would have been storage room. Everything in the room was valuable, just not needed at the moment. It was a resting place for trophies, treasures and honored heirlooms. Those objects shook and wiggled as something thump, thump, thumped under the floorboards. After a while, this changed to the sound of wood being broken and splintered followed by a profound silence. Slowly, the tatami mat in the center of the room was lifted and Nemu raised her head up just enough to glance around.

"All clear Madam President."

Yachiru popped out of the tunnel like a jack-in-the-box. "Wow Nemu-chan! You sure can dig!"

With the dry moat providing cover, Nemu had no problem tunneling under Byakuya's mansion and finding a quiet spot far from any perceived reiatsu. Yachiru turned around and took Nemu's hands to help her out of the hole.

"How can you dig like that and not get your hands dirty? Can you teach me how to do that?"

Nemu didn't know what to say. She was aware that her ability to use her hands as high powered excavation drills was an unusual modification. For Yachiru to have the same ability would mean having Mayuri-sama modify her hands. An image arose in her mind of Yachiru, strapped down on a table, unconscious and helpless while her father approached her with a scalpel. For some reason, the thought of the little pink haired girl being modified by Mayuri-sama alarmed her. Why? She wondered. Why did she think that way? She was modified and experimented on routinely. Why did the thought of the little girl being cut bother her? What should she tell her? It didn't matter. In the typical fashion for someone her age, Yachiru soon forgot her questions as she looked around the room.

"See, what did I tell ya. Look at all the cool stuff!"

Nemu could see there were indeed many valuable treasures in the room. Ancient armor and finely crafted weapons shared space with large celadon vases and subtly painted wall scrolls.

"I don't think these things are of interest for you Madame President." She said.

"What are you talking about?" Yachiru said.

She put on an elaborate lacquered helmet decorated with large horns and plumes.

"Look. I'm a Shogun!"

The large helmet slid off her too small head and hit the floor.

"Nothing here looks suitable for playthings." Nemu said.

"You think so?" Yachiru replied. She had picked up a vase with a painting of a young courtesan playing a samisen under a willow tree.

"Yes," Nemu said, "I would even go so far to say these things are boring."

Yachiru looked over at Nemu and scrunched her eyebrows in thought. She looked back at the vase she was holding.

"I guess you're right." She said. "Let's see what else this place has."

She turned towards the door and threw the vase over her shoulder. Nemu casually snatched it from the air and put it back where it belonged.

* * *

"This place looks even bigger on the inside." Yachiru said.

They had taken a few twists and turns down long corridors and found themselves exiting to a beautiful garden. The cherry trees were in full bloom and provided a pleasant shade while they walked along. Hearing a splash, Yachiru turned her head.

"What was that? Let's go look."

They soon found a pond. The splashing was caused by a large carp jumping out of the water trying to catch a bug.

"Cool!" Yachiru said. "Did you see the size of that thing?"

She grabbed Nemu's hand and pulled her right up to the pond's edge. The fish were swimming in slow circles around the pond, a parade of bright colors under the water. Yachiru watched them swimming with delight. Nemu wasn't pleased with the situation. They were in the open with no cover. The rooftop guards would most likely be looking outside the compound, but movement of any kind drew the eye.

"I believe there is an entrance over that bridge Madam President." She said.

"OK," Yachiru said, "I'll come back and check on the fish later. Bye fishies!"

Entering the building, they found themselves wandering through long corridors again. It seemed quite some time before they found anything interesting. There were plenty of closets, storage areas, what appeared to be guest quarters and some currently unoccupied offices. Yachiru began to get bored and grumpy. You could hear the disgust in her voice as she went from room to room.

"Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Oh, here's something. Hey, Nemu-chan, check it out!"

Nemu had been checking the rooms on the other side of the hall. Looking where Yachiru pointed, she could see a huge calligraphy brush and a pad.

"I believe this is an instruction hall Madame President." She said.

Yachiru had already run inside and grabbed the brush.

"Watch what I can do." She said.

Dipping the brush in ink, she vigorously painted on the pad, sticking her tongue out in concentration. Nemu watched as a series of stick figures in quick succession appeared on the paper.

"Tadaa!' Yachiru crowed. It was a picture of Captain Zaraki, grinning with big spiky teeth as he chopped up several weeping, cowering hollows. "Now you draw something Nemu-chan."

Yachiru handed the big brush over to her. Nemu looked at the brush in her hands. Imagination was not her strong suit. What could she paint? Unable to think of anything, she painted a little stick figure Mayuri-sama.

"That's pretty good." Yachiru said. She tore the page off of the pad. "What will I draw next?" She asked.

She placed the paper on the side of the room, then froze. Slowly rising up, she twitched her nose as she took deep breaths.

"I smell something good to eat." She announced. "Let's go!"

Dragging Nemu along, she ran down the hall towards the source of the smell.  
Nemu was impressed by Yachiru's sense of smell as she didn't smell anything. After jogging for several minutes, she finally began to smell something like baking bread that grew stronger as they went along. Turning a corner, they saw where the mouth-watering smells were coming from.

"The kitchen." Yachiru said. "I wonder if they got any snacks we can have?"

The kitchen was very active with the first people they had seen so far. There were cooks stirring and chopping, servants bringing in ingredients or stoking the cook fires and scullery maids peeling and washing vegetables. Yachiru waded in with Nemu close behind. She made herself at home, taking a slice of carrot here, sampling the soup there, commending everyone on a job well done. Everyone was too busy and focused on their tasks to wonder what a little girl was doing wandering around. The head chef was different. Entering his kitchen from his office with the evening's menu, he soon felt something was throwing his staff off their usual rhythm. It didn't take him long to spot a head of bright pink hair moving around the counters. He stalked over to her to sort things out.

"Hey you!' He shouted as he came up behind her. "What are you doing in my kitchen?"

Yachiru jumped at the voice. She slowly turned around, then straightened up to her full three and a half feet. As seriously a she could, she answered the angry cook as if he were out of his mind.

"What are we doing here? Weren't you expecting us?"

This threw the man off. "Expecting you?"

Yachiru raised her eyebrows. "Our Captains are coming to afternoon tea tomorrow. You were supposed to have sample platters ready for us today to see if you can prepare stuff they like. Don't tell me you didn't know?"

The head cook was very confused. "Afternoon tea? Sample platters? I don't remember hearing anything about this."

Yachiru turned to Nemu. "Nobody told him we were coming. Isn't that terrible?"

"It is most regrettable." Nemu said while shaking her head.

Yachiru turned back to the chef. "Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to go home and tell my captain you guys weren't ready. You know my captain don't you?" She turned her body around to display her eleventh division badge. "Zaraki Kenpachi."

The chef turned a pale.

Nemu added more food for thought.

"I believe Captain Kuchiki will be most displeased over the loss of face for slighted guests."

If the mention of Kenpachi had turned the chef white, the thought of dishonoring his clan chief made him turn green. However, he had not made it to head chef without learning to handle emergencies.

"Now there's no need for hasty actions. I apologize for this obvious oversight." He gave a deep bow. "Please, step this way and my staff will have some things made up for you in no time."

He led them to a small dining table in the corner.

"Alright, let's see what ya got!" Yachiru said as she walked to the table rubbing her hands together.

Nemu bowed to the chef. "Thank you for your considerate actions."

She also went to the table and took a seat. The chef went to the front of the kitchen to start ordering up sample dishes. Along the way, he grabbed one of the servants passing by.

"You. Contact the majordomo's office. Find out why I was not informed of the lieutenants visit today and when was somebody going to tell me about the captains coming tomorrow?"

"Yes sir!" the servant said and he rushed off down the hall.

* * *

As they left the kitchen Yachiru rubbed her pleasantly full stomach.

"Man, that was some good stuff."

Nemu agreed. Never in her life had she eaten so much. The food had been artfully prepared and was so pleasing to the eye she didn't want to spoil the effect by eating any. Yachiru had no such problem. There was a wide range of flavors from spicy to sweet to tangy to savory. It was an experience of tastes and sensations she would not soon forget.

"Should we make our exit now Madam President?" she said.

"Why?" Yachiru asked. "We've hardly seen anything."

"I fear we will not be able to stay much longer without our presence being noted." Nemu replied.

"Relax," Yachiru said, "they think we're guests now."

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than they rounded a corner which revealed two men standing in the way. They were dressed in the Kuchiki livery of purple uniforms with their faces covered. Security guards.

"Stop right there ladies." The first one said.

The other was calling in on his radio.

"Dragon 17 to Dragon 1, we have the gate crashers at this time, over."

"Is there a problem?" Yachiru said with her eyes as wide and innocent as she could make them.

"You bet there's a problem." The first one said. "According to the head office, you're not supposed to be here."

"You definitely didn't sign in to the visitor log at the front gate." The other one said. "In fact, we have standing orders to never let this one in ever!"

He pointed at Yachiru who stuck out her tongue. The first one put his hand on Nemu's shoulder.

"Please come with me miss. We'll sort this out at the head office."

Grabbing his hand Nemu put him in an arm bar using the leverage to slam him headfirst into the wall. He slumped to the ground unconscious. His partner got on the radio immediately.

"Dragon 17, send back up, repeat, send…"

He ducked as Nemu fired a blistering right hook at his head. Tossing aside the radio, he and Nemu circled each other, punches and kicks met with blocks and counter strikes. Their movements speeded into a blur as each sought an advantage over the other.

"Cool!" Yachiru said, and she sat down cross legged to watch.

The security guard did his best, but he was no match for the stone faced lieutenant. She finally saw an opening and caught the guard in a sleeper hold. His struggles to break free became weaker and weaker as the blood stopped flowing to his brain.

"Madam President." Nemu shouted. "We have lost the element of surprise and these men are too strong and well trained for me to handle many more. We must flee!"

She dropped the now unconscious guard to the floor. Yachiru leapt to her feet.

"Right! Follow me Nemu-chan! I know exactly where to go."

Yachiru ran down the hall with Nemu close on her heels. They ran around twists and turns, taking lefts and rights, running so fast the walls became a blur.

"We're almost there!" Yachiru said. "Just one more turn!"

They came around the final bend and found themselves in a dead end.

"Huh?" Yachiru said. "I coulda swore the door would be here."

"We will have to find another way." Nemu replied.

Yachiru turned around preparing to run.

"OK, I know where it is this time."

Again, they ran down the halls, air rushing past their faces as they raced one after the other.

"This way, this way!" Yachiru called as she made turn after turn.

"Uh oh." she said.

The last turn put them right back in the hall where Nemu had defeated the guards. Two more had shown up and were trying to help their comrades back on their feet.

"I can't stop!" Yachiru yelled, then she knocked all the guards down like bowling pins. "Sorry" Nemu shouted as she ran past.

The guards were quick to get back on their feet and were soon in hot pursuit. More and more guards joined them as they ran down the hallways.

"C'mon, let's take a shortcut!" Yachiru squawked as she burst through a doorway.

The chase went from the hallway to a confusing room-to-room scramble. They disrupted a board meeting of the clan elders. They startled two matronly women having tea. They knocked over the easel of a painter working on a young maiden's portrait. They scared the heck out of a girl with a large bang between her eyes who appeared to be drawing bunny pictures.

"We're almost there!" Yachiru called over her shoulder. "Pour on the speed so we can lose these guys!"

"Yes Madam President!" Nemu called back.

Their feet became blurs as they returned to the hallways turning this way and that as they followed Yachiru's sense of direction.

"Here it is!" She shouted in triumph. "Just around that corner!"

They took the corner at a speed that left marks on the floor, then skidded to a stop as they almost collided with a dead end wall. They stood there panting, staring in disbelief at the barrier before them. Nemu looked around.

"I believe this is the same dead end we were in before Madam President."

"Well darn" Yachiru said. "I guess we'll have to try something else."

They turned around to see that the end of the long hall was packed shoulder to shoulder with guards. Many were trying to catch their breath. All looked angry. Several were wielding a jutte, the specialized club favored by law enforcement. A man wearing the rank of guard captain stood in the center.

"All right." He said. "Enough's enough. Come quietly down to the head office and we'll sort this all out. We're all too beat to want a struggle. Is it a deal?"

Yachiru looked up to Nemu. Nemu looked down at the ground. She appeared deep in thought. Shields were being passed up to the men in front who formed a riot line. Receiving no answer, the guard captain took action.

"OK then. Riot squad! In formation on the half step. March!"

"Yes sir!"

Shields and truncheons at the ready, the men advanced moving slowly forward one half step at a time. They stomped their feet with every step making a boom, boom, boom, sound. Nemu decided what she had to do. She picked up her head and started walking towards the guard.

"Riot squad! Halt!" The guard captain ordered.

They all halted with one final stomp as their left foot hit the ground. Nemu broke into a run.

"Now miss, be reasonable!" the guard captain called out.

The riot squad braced themselves behind their shields. Nemu was now going all out straight at them.

The guard captain shouted to his men, "Get ready!"

With Nemu less than an arm's length away, she spun in a graceful pirouette on her right foot and began to run back towards the wall. The guards looked at each other in confusion. What was she doing? If anything, she seemed to be running even faster towards the dead end. Indeed, it didn't seem possible for something to move that fast in that enclosed space. Where did she think she was going? While still several body lengths away from the wall, she launched herself into the air. Her body glowing with released energy, she curled into a ball and executed a half flip. As she uncurled, her feet met the wall. Combining speed and strength, she burst through to outside!

"Wow!" Yachiru said as she ran up to the hole. "That was coo…"

Nemu's hand reached though the hole and jerked Yachiru out. The guards got over their shock and ran to the hole. Their captain stuck his head out just in time to see the lieutenants run past the astonished gate guards, exit out the front gate and head off down the road.

* * *

They ran. They ran as fast as their legs could carry them kicking up a dust plume that trailed them for half a mile. They ran until the Kuchiki manor was no longer visible and they were deep into the wooded hills. Finally, by mutual unspoken agreement, they stopped at the same time near a large oak tree. They stood with their hands on their knees, panting with exhaustion after the long chase. When Nemu had caught her breath somewhat, she walked over to the tree and sat down, resting her back against its trunk. As soon as Yachiru could stand up straight, she began to laugh. She laughed harder and harder, her hands holding her sides, peals of laughter ringing out until tears rolled down her cheeks.

"That. Was. AWSOME!" She crowed.

She went over to where Nemu was sitting. "You were amazing Nemu-chan!"

Nemu looked up at her, but didn't say anything. After all the action, she was trying not to lose her lunch.

"Hey, c'mon." Yachiru said. "We did it! We got away! Smile."

Yachiru grabbed the corners of Nemu's mouth and moved them up into a crooked smile. When she let go, Nemu tried to hold her face in that position. Yachiru laughed some more and hugged Nemu tight around the neck. Nemu's eye went wide. She wasn't expecting that. She didn't know what to do. Yachiru let go, then turned around to plop down on Nemu's lap. She grabbed Nemu's hands and put them around her middle, then laid her head on Nemu's chest. Several minutes passed as she sat there watching the clouds pass by.

"I had a really good time today." She said after a while.

"You did?" Nemu replied.

"Yeah." Yachiru said. "Most of the time when I get an assistant for my presidenting stuff, they never want to do what I want. They always try to tell me what to do or say my ideas are dumb. They never just help me like you do. You're a lot of fun."

"Really?" Nemu asked. She had to think about that. She didn't think of herself as fun.

"Yeah." Yachiru said. "I like doing stuff with you. You know, Ken-chan is great, but he can't be with me all the time. When I'm with other people, sometimes I get the feeling they don't want me around. I don't get that with you."

The sun was low on the horizon as afternoon started to fade into evening. The clouds scudded like sailboats slowly across the sky. Yachiru's next words were the first time Nemu detected anything like hesitation or doubt in her voice.

"Say Nemu-chan." She said. "When it's just us two, you know, alone like this, is it OK if I call you big sister?"

In a flash of insight, Nemu realized something. This little girl, favorite of the fierce Captain Zaraki, a child who enjoyed power over hundreds of shinigami, was lonely. Nemu could understand that feeling all too well. She closed her arms around Yachiru's waist and hugged her tight.

"Yes." she said. "I'd like that very much."

She rested her chin on top of Yachiru's head and watched as the clouds changed color with the setting sun.

"Little sister."

The End


End file.
